Noelle tagged me to write about five things that feminism has done for me. I spent the weekend thinking about this question. As a young teen I was outspoken about my right to equality, to equal pay, to being just the same as a man. My first boyfriend made a comment to me that was along the lines of "if you are equal, why do you have to have legislation to prove it?" Well, I know I don’t need to get into the answer to that question, but it did make me think again about living my equality rather than shouting about it.
I was raised in a traditional (at least for the time) family: my dad worked full time, my mom had a part-time job, but not until after I (her fifth and last child) was in school. I have two brothers and two sisters, and dinner was on the table at the same time every night, and the entire family was expected to be there. Despite some occassional financial difficulties, and despite some familial dysfunction, I had a fantastic childhood. One reason is that my parents never said I couldn’t do something because I was a girl. Whatever I set my mind to, my parents believed I could at least make a good effort to achieve it. So I wasn’t raised with high gender expectations.
When I was first married, my husband used to insist on doing certain chores. I didn’t see why he had to take the garbage out or I had to mop floors. He would say "because I’m the boy and you’re the girl, and that’s the way we do things." Indeed, our pet names for each other (which our families and friends started to use for us) were "the boy" and "the girl." Don’t get me wrong; he wasn’t saying I HAD to mop floors, just that what I’d consider traditionally-male chores were his to do. Over the 14 years of our marriage, things shifted. He is a far better cook, deriving more pleasure from the process than I do on most days, so he cooked. I’m a better money manager, so I handled budgets and bills. In other words, we discovered our strengths and put them to work for our little family.
So. I guess the first thing that feminism has done for me is that it enabled me to have an upbringing that gave me an open mind about my role as a woman in this world.
As a woman who values my education more than just about any physical possession, I value my ability to attend college and university for whatever subject strikes my fancy.
I am so grateful that my excruciating fear of pregnancy and childbirth does not have to be an issue for me.
I am also grateful that I can own property, all under my own name. I don’t need to have a father or husband or brother or uncle or man of any relationship own my home for me.
Finally, feminism has, in a way I don’t quite understand, become inherent in the crafts that I love. Rather than being "quaint," when I pick up my sticks, hook, spindle, or needle, I do so with pride for my feminity, for my connection to the women in my family who also plied a tool to create something with love, usually while balancing complicated lives.
Tag. If you’re reading and want to post your own thoughts, you’re It.
