I've had a difficult time with my job lately.
The work is challenging, but it always has been. That's one of the things I like about teaching college students about writing.
I've been angsty, uncertain if this career choice was a mis-step.
I've been feeling disrespected. Many people who aren't teachers or don't live with teachers see the winter break and the summer months off, and think I have it easy. I've been told this, so I know there are people who think it.
Some people in my life have said that I work part time, despite teaching a 4-4 load, serving on two committees, and doing things like spending over 30 hours (last week) on grading.
I've been frustrated by students who don't read carefully, who don't follow instructions, and then behave badly when asked to resubmit work according to instructions.
As with most jobs, there are hundreds of ways to be discouraged. I'm not Mark Thackery or Erin Gruwell, yet there's a pervasive attitude that I should want to be them. I don't want to be them. I am a woman who loves the English language. I am a woman who is passionate for words, who has developed some skill at helping others name and control what they can do with words.
I get a reset button every semester. New faces. New chances to improve my teaching.
Yet, I've been angsty and uncertain.
Today, though, a young man came to see me during my office hours. His story of what he has been through as he's tried to bounce back from a bad semester, from bad decisions, from a horrible personal situation humbled me.
Then a young woman stopped in to thank me for offering her an extension on a project. She was upset, tears in her eyes during class earlier in the week. I asked to speak with her after class and told her that she didn't have to explain what was going on, but she should feel free to ask for an extension if she needed it. I don't think she knew she could do something like that. Today when she met with me, she looked me in the eyes for the first time. She had a conversation with me. Her gratitude humbled me.
I remembered the most important thing I should bring to my work.
Compassion.
I don't want to be the cranky professor who mutters "kids these days," and that is the direction I've been heading. The students who make me feel that way deserve grace, and I need to behave with grace towards them if I'm going to do my job and find the joy of it again.
What has reminded you to strive to work from a place of grace lately?
I wonder if hooking up with the recruitment team to head out on a local school visit might help? I work on the admissions side of things, and it’s always a bit exciting to see the kids who are just starting out and applying for admission. They’re all so young and hopeful. We get our fair share of grumblers, but talking to them when they’re still in high school can make for some fun times.
4-4 plus two committees is a staggering amount of work.
Lovely post. I’m reminded of this a LOT at work, when I hear myself getting that tone, rushing through the medical instructions. I forget that for the person calling, it’s an emergency, even though I just hear that it’s food poisoning. Again. And I try to imagine being them, being in their shoes, dialing 911, and I’m brought back that I’m lucky to do the job I do, and the ONLY way I can help in my position is to make that person feel better or safer in the next few seconds, and I’d better do it right.
It’s good to remember. Thanks for this. (Also, sorry for the run-ons. Whew!)
This post makes me happy and I can only hope that my student’s college life is filled with educators like you. You ARE compassionate and your students are so lucky to have you.
EMPOWERMENT.
Unlike some other folks I work with in the corporate setting, I believe in those around me. I believe they were hired because they were the best (at the time) at what they do. I don’t micromanage. I invest in them. I believe in them. I empower them.
WOw. How wonderful is the message, of this post. (i know that is totally gramatically incorrect….but It is how I am speaking….)
My son is studying to become a teacher. It is good for me to know what comments he will encounter. Fireman gets lots of that sort of thing. .He says, well, the job is open to anyone ? WOuld you like to run into a 220 degree burning building with me on any given day?
Now the answer to your question: I recently read a thought : GOd is with us in the reality of our lives, not the fantasy of our lives. That brought me to a place of Grace..somehow..with a issue at work. I know God is there when I get uncomfortable with patients; families.
The teachers I remember all through my life took time to see me as an individual and believe in me as a person. You understand that being humble and investing in your students is the best for them and you. You’re a very good teacher.
I work alone most of the time, but my friends and family keep me humble when I go off track.
I can definitely relate to your feelings, and being tired of disrespect from students, and their lack of investment in the educational process. But then there are the few shiny diamonds-in-the-rough that I suppose make this all worth it.
I continue my internal debate if I should continue my path in administration or something else all together, but at least when I meet those few special students, I remember how I ended up here. And sometimes, that makes me feel like I am meant to be here, in higher education, trying to do some good and change the world, one student at a time. A lofty goal, but worthy to strive for nonetheless!
Reading this brought a tears to my eyes. Brefore we chat about grace I want to say that I think teaching is one of the most important jobs any person on this planet can have. And that teachers aren’t respected or treated the way they should be. Teachers create all the doors that people spend a lifetime opening and a good teacher can help transform your image of the universe. I have always believed that teachers should get paid what professional sports players get and sports players should get what teachers make.
For striving to work from a place of grace it has been brought to my attention that I talk over my hubby. Something new and something learned from where I work (to get a word in EVERYONE talks over one another). I hadn’t realized I did it and I was ashamed to treat him that way. I have a big note on my computer that simply says LISTEN. I think that it is much better to listen to the people around us and then speak.
I get tired of turning on the news these days because it seems like teachers are enemy number one. Whatever ills have been dropped at the country’s doorstep probably happened because of a teacher. And it gets a little disheartening. The breaks are pay-backs for hours and hours spent hunched over a computer screen offering suggestions for revision or evenings spent at work because I cannot bear to lift all the vocabulary books to bring them home. My 7:10 – 2:40 day is really 6:30 – 5, and that is by choice.
This year, it is my students who are making the difference. I have my fair share of kids who don’t pay attention or read directions or complete homework or study for test . . . but they are nice kids for the most parts. They want to tell me about their evenings or share that we are reading the same book or offer their opinion about how hot Rob Pattinson is. They pose for photos and bring in guitars to earn extra credit and tell you to have a nice lunch.
They make it worth while. I dare a politician to do my job. I double-dog dare a talk show host to spend one week at my chalk board. They wouldn’t make it to my prep period.
I’d like to send your post to the governor of my state, and to all the people who think he’s absolutely right to vilify teachers.
Thank you for caring so much. It will come back to you.
Well, YOU just did!
It’s so you! Every little thing about the new blog is charming. LOVE it! Good work.